


X-Pop

by SarahHBE



Series: Stony Bingo 2017 [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous Universe, Crack, Established Relationship, M/M, Popsicles, Stony Bingo, Superhusbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 14:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11579859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahHBE/pseuds/SarahHBE
Summary: When you're a billionaire you can get anything you want, from anywhere in the world, delivered to you overnight.  Steve isn't going to survive the most recent delivery.





	X-Pop

Steve was sitting in the communal kitchen when the mail arrived via a nervous looking intern.  The intern wasn’t someone he was familiar with so he stood to offer the young man a handshake and ‘hello’ but apparently that was the wrong thing to do.  The intern looked terrified before dropping the mail bin on the floor and fleeing.

 

 _Huh_.  Surreptitiously he sniffed his armpit and found he smelled of citrus and herbal musk just like he deodorant claimed he would.  Maybe the intern didn’t like the herbal _ness_ of it?

 

Shrugging Steve swept the mail bin off the floor and brought it to the kitchen island.  He pulled out the mishmash of envelopes and sorted them.  It must be an off day since Clint had the most with 32 letters.  Mixed in with the letters was a package about 12x10x10 addressed to Tony and from some company called GB Glace.  It had clearly been overnighted and felt a lot lighter than most things Tony ordered.

 

“J.A.R.V.I.S. please let Tony know he has a package.”

 

“Of course, Captain.”  It had to be his imagination but Steve thought the AI sounded put-upon.

 

“And let anyone else in the tower know they have mail.”

 

“I believe Agent Barton is already on his way.”  J.A.R.V.I.S. said after a few moments.

 

Yeah, Steve just bet he was.  For someone who had spent most of his life as either a criminal or a secret agent his love for fan mail was confounding.  So when the elevator opened Steve was expecting some sass from his fellow blond, not –

 

“Woohoo!  They’re here!”  Tony crowed rushing into the room.

 

Steve noted Tony must have been crawling through an engine for that many dark liquid like stains to be smeared on him.  His hair was getting long and Steve could see small pieces starting to curl over Tony’s ears and forehead.  It took a second for Steve to realize Tony hadn’t come up to the island and was instead at the sink washing his hands and wrists.  Steve furrowed his brow at the lack of Tony’s usual grab-and-vanish routine.  Tony caught Steve looking and gave him a wink with a sneaky grin before drying off his hands.

 

“Gimme.”  The brunette demanded.  The elevator dinged announcing another person.

 

“What’s the count?!”  Clint hollered before entering into view.

 

“32 letters to you, Clint.”  Steve handed Tony his package and quirked an eyebrow at how Tony enthusiastically grabbed a knife to open it.  With the concentration and glee he normally saves for working on the Iron Man suit Tony opened the flaps of the package.  There was a gel pack on top so whatever it was needed to stay cold.

 

“Heck, yeah!  Fan mail feeds my soul.”  Steve rolled his eyes.

 

“Check it out!”  Tony had his prize from the box, apparently.

 

Steve’s entire body went still and his eyes widened in shock when he saw the thing in Tony’s hand.  It was long popsicle and had large stripes of colors from yellow at the base to red and orange near the top.  But the top, the actual top, was a bell shape of dark pink.

 

“Geez, Stark, where did you find a penis shaped popsicle?”  Clint wondered.  Steve felt blood rush to his face.

 

“Tsk-tsk, Legolas, GB Glace is adamant this is not a penis inspired bit of deliciousness.”  Clint snorted and after giving them a devious grin Tony continued, “However this treat does have the added bonus of the top exploding in your mouth when you suck on it just right.”

 

There was undoubtedly saliva mixed in with the air  Steve choked on.  Clint slapped him on the back as he and Tony howled with laughter.

 

“Oh, god, you’ve broken Steve.”

 

“Well, you know what they say?  You break it, you bought it.”  Tony came around the island with that popsicle still in his hand.  “Guess you’re mine, now, Captain Handsome.”

 

“Well that’s my clue that I’m the third wheel.  Save one of those for me, Tony!”  Steve was pretty sure he heard the elevator carry Clint away but his brain seemed to by stymied by the popsicle.

 

“I’ve been told these are quite pleasing to the palate.”  A strange whine came from somewhere.

 

Tony lifted the popsicle to his lips and his tongue flicked out to lick at lines of melt along the length of it.  Steve was absolutely aware the blood in his body was vanishing from vital areas and he was quickly losing his mind.

 

“Mmmm, fruity.”  Tony continued to work the popsicle.  His plump lips glistened as he pressed the tip of the popsicle to them and let out a moan.  There was a loud crack and Tony went very still, his eyes shooting to Steve’s hands.

 

“You seem stressed, Steve.”  Following Tony’s line of sight Steve looked dumbly at the part of the marble countertop that had broken off in his hands.  “Maybe you should try some of my popsicle.”

 

Tony was goading him and Steve finally caught up with the moment and sprang into action.  With one arm wrapped around the smaller man’s waist and the other hand buried in Tony’s too long hair Steve nearly bent him in half as he dip kissed the daylights out of him.

 

“Jesus, not in the kitchen!”

 

Steve looked up at Colonel Rhodes’s irritated exclamation.

 

“And what the hell is in your hand, Tones!”

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize profusely for this. For the Cap/Iron Man Bingo prompt "Popsicle." And you can google X-Pop to find out more about the popsicle.
> 
> (;-_-)


End file.
